Danger, Veteran, Suicide, Violence 8-22-08

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

I dreamed of the black hole of death last night. There is no way any one can understand what happens when we die. It is all speculation. I do have an insight because when I woke up in the Military hospital after leaving boot camp I woke up in a world that I had no memory of. My mind was like a child’s empty space wanting to learn. The military said that I was to be medically discharged but because of an admin error I was sent to MCAS El Toro Calif. I was labeled stupid at this base because no one there knew that, I did not know anything and with in 90 days I was shipped overseas. I was transferred or TAD to different military bases every 90 days for the next 31 months. I did many jobs and completed many dangerous missions. I for some reason had the ability with out knowing any thing to be able to repair any thing with what was available to me. I always put my mission first, no matter what the cost and my men second. My men hated me but every one in our unit would volunteer to be in my squad during a mission. I was fearless and had no emotion when in charge. I was injured twice more during combat mission during this 31 months. Now, I learn after being out for over 30 years that the silent demon of war PTSD is my fourth disability. My insight to the black hole is that every place that I went was a new and exciting adventure. To have a bullet pass with in inches of your head, the out house you just left seconds earlier is destroyed by enemy mortar fire, standing with in 15 feet of a fighter jet with hung ordinance doing 600 knots to stop it, killing another human being with a bayonet to get your M-16 back and escape, being an American Advisor on convoys with no one that even spoke your language, doing eight convoys deep into the bush to deliver surplus supplies to friendly camps, being in charge of men during a Vietnam offensive shipping an entire launch and recovery base to be set up. Each day was my last but I dreamed and hoped that some day I might see the United States and remember it.

I survived and came home. This year I will run for NH State Senate. My black hole continues because nothing appears to be real. Judge Fauver violates the constitution on purpose to help the Madbury NH selectmen harm local residents for personal revenge. The NH supreme court covers up these crimes to protect their little empire of legal dominance over the people. Our elected officials in Concord are too afraid of being associated with a nut to help. The Governor declares me a terrorist and takes my freedom for 6 months before the bogus charges are dropped. The American Legion in Manchester physically removes me from a Congresswoman Shea-Porter’s veterans picnic because they believe false newspaper articles. I have a written invitation. The newspapers refuse to inform the public of any of this. I have seen and done many different adventures in my life. Each adventure was like stepping into a black hole to never return. I now have a memory of over thirty years. My memory is like a black hole never knowing what I will remember or when. Can stepping into that permanent black hole of death not be just another adventure that I must conquer.

Let us ask did what I learn and understand about our Constitution wrong after I fought for her. Do government official’s, judges and newspapers now dominate the people. The black hole of death must be better than seeing what our military give their lives for being demolished so that so few can receive special benefits while the rest of the people serve this government “empire“. Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi