Bad Day 1-30-09

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

Yesterday, I was to depressed to write. I am sure that made a lot of the people that dread seeing my emails happy. It is so funny! I am remembering my depressed state of mind more and more. It has grown to the point that when not depressed I dream of ways never to go back to it. It never works. I will hear a song or a situation, thoughts and reality, just engulf my mind. My world becomes, as it was or is what I am thinking real (and I am dreaming that I did come home) for eternity and that is why the end is never near. Can you (meaning the people of the U.S.) tell me ( a 100% disabled U.S. military Veteran) how allowing elected officials to violate the Constitution can happen and no one cares enough to speak out. We the people of NH elect new officials and these new ones fall into the same boat. It is the same in Washington DC. Our elected officials have taken so many liberties that they are just wasting away the entire United States. The Rich are getting richer on the backs of all the no-bodies that make up the U.S. In a small way with zoning, the economy, taxes and other! our government is making it so only the elite club can survive while the average person just struggles. Our elected officials approve bonus for the rich that we the people struggling to find how to pay for the next meal. We have to vote for whom the Dem or Rep party put on display for us, so that they can call it the voters choice in a free election. My guaranteed constitutional rights have been so diminished that the NH governor can charge a voter (me) two hundred dollars to speak (with out conditions) for thirty minutes. Not only having to pay to speak with governor Lynch wrong but the governor shafted me. We never spoke.

Is reality here in the land of the free or am I never going to get out of this benjo ditch> Newspapers do not want to print my opinion letters because they dribble on. My letters do not make since. My letters harm people with good reputation. I am a 100% disabled veteran that is willing to give every thing for you the people of the United States of America with out conditions. Are the editors reason good enough to accept as real?

As unrealistic as it sounds and many of the situations that I have lived through do, jumping the other day to end it and having the wind pick me up and a birch tree lower me to the ground safely makes reality harder to believe. It is just like having laws and rules that only the average person has to obey. The special elite few can do as they wish no matter how much pain and suffering it inflicts on the N0-bodies. I guess the key question to ask some day is, “if this 100% disabled veteran can be in such a state of mind, why was his medical stopped”. What went wrong with our system of government? The key question might me “How could our government inflict so much harm and pain on a disabled veteran and we the citizens of the U.S. never saw it”?

The answer must be that this is not reality and I was never here. I am stuck in a benjo ditch for eternity. I am proud to be a United States Marine even if the country that I serve for can not accept that I did it for our nation “The United States Of America”

We the ones willing to give can never come home because you the people we did it for do not want to accept us. We are the U.S. Military Veteran, that gave our lives for you.

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi

Warning, Mental Veteran 1-28-09

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

Push aside those that ask our society for help. Cast shame, while creating a fear in the public eye about those volunteering to help others. Belittle those that dare stand for those less fortunate. Citizens labeled with mental illness are a danger. People with head injuries deserve less help than the normal people. Can there be something wrong with this attitude of society? A Rochester NH man goes to doctors, hospitals, state agencies, social workers and finally to Clinton’s campaign headquarters for help. The man is mocked and ridiculed by the news. Society puts this man in jail. A Portsmouth NH man runs for state office. People in the state capitol use prosecutors to stop this mans campaign. NH ruin this mans life over a car accident. A 100% disabled veteran writes opinion letters about judge Fauver’s criminal acts to intentionally harm U.S. citizens so NH declares this man a terrorist. This U.S. military veteran gets out of jail and continues his free speech only to have his medical stopped as a weapon to harm this veteran. The veteran’s opinion letters are censored to keep the public support limited. This 100% disabled veteran has four injuries from defending this great nation. Each injury was received at a separate time. One is a head injury and another is PTSD or reoccurring reminders of a time society can not accept as real. This veteran is mental so deny help if possible. Society says!

New Hampshire elected officials not only refuse to help this veteran they diminish this veteran’s constitutional rights. The newspapers stop this veteran’s run for state elected office with character harming articles while at the same time refusing to print this veteran’s response or platform letters to the editor. Society is right that Senator Amanda Merrill is in her way better for the job. In a free election it should have been the voters choice not the Concord elite and editors. I have serious medical injuries all received while I served this great nation in the U.S. Military. Is it right for Judge Fauver to be able to use his law buddies in the NH supreme court to harm a U.S. Military veteran that exposes Fauver’s criminal acts. Where does a 100% service connected disabled veteran go when even the NH supreme court violates the Constitution our highest law.

Last year or some time ago the VA diagnosed this Veteran with PTSD. I have lived with this and many other disabilities since I returned over thirty years ago. I have not violated the law. I volunteer every day since I returned home to help others no matter what the cost to my self or family. We have a Constitution to stop these criminal acts.

Society does not want to know what NH is doing to a 100% disabled veteran because it will up set those elite few. The VA has asked this 100% disabled veteran to kill my self. It is a part of my medical file. The newspapers refuse to inform the public. The VA refuses to give me pain medication for my combat related disabilities. Our elected officials in Concord NH know about these miss use of government powers yet they refuse to confront the powerful. The newspapers censor the public to limit public out rage over these criminal acts.

I have a head injury so it is societies right to stereo type this 100% disabled veteran as the newspapers and our elected leaders require. Tell the people that I am paranoid. Instill fear. Cast me as a danger. Make this veteran commit suicide to keep society safe to demonstrate how our elected officials were right about this mental case that volunteered to make life better for others. God knows that I have tried.

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi

NH Senator Amanda Merrill 1-27-09

Send a copy to Dr Potenza and Levenston at NH VAH and Wash DC VA IG

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

The State of New Hampshire is lucky to have Senator Amanda Merrill. Not only do I know her personally from around town but she won the last primary election against me. I have a feeling that NH picked a winner to represent them. She sent me a copy of all the Veterans Bill to come up in this session of the legislature. My answer to her about the Bills is that Veterans are not looking for a hand out. Mandy was right with here answer that veterans deserve more, for what they did for this country. My point was missed! Veterans place the welfare of the country first even before their own welfare. We are in serious times. We need serious action to correct the wrongs in government which seem to just grow. Token bills to increase the medical care at the NH Veterans Hospital is a waste of money. There are plenty of VAH’s closer than Manchester NH is to a lot of NH veterans. Correct the wrongs in the Veterans Administration and stop wasting tax dollars. Veterans are not looking for tax breaks, Correct the wasteful spending on pet projects then there will be more than enough left over for all the citizens. Veterans deserve free car registration, but correct the needs of all the people before giving token gifts to veterans. I do not speak for all veterans but these are the thoughts of a lot of those that were there. We gave to keep this nation free and strong. Stop wasting it and do what is good for the citizens of the United States of America. Then the Veterans will have what we fought for. A person like Mandy, I hope will continue to listen to the people and not her political empire’s controlling influence.

In the past years I have asked our elected officials for help. Not one will do a thing to help this Veteran. I have asked as provide to every NH resident in our Constitution to address the full house in a “Redress of Grievances”. Our elected officials turn a deaf ear. I have asked to speak to Governor Lynch many times. The Governor him self told me to call for an appointment. The governor even charged me $200.00 once and I still did not get to talk with him. NH and the VA have stopped my VA medical care. The State and local police harass my family. The local sheriff arrests (detains) me so Judge Fauver can demonstrate the power a judge has. Where does a Veteran go?

Newspapers refuse to print my letters. You all think that I am crazy because I think of killing my self all the time. I am a sane, rational person that just can not seem to come home. NH has stopped this Veteran’s constitutional rights and the news media keeps the public in the dark. Society believes the established political empires words that this Veteran is a danger to society. The VA has asked this Veteran to commit suicide. The NH government and courts with the help of law enforcement seem to be pushing me toward that. God knows that I have tried as the wind carried me to safety. This Marine is stuck in a benjo ditch for eternity in h-ell for what we do.

Do you get my point Veterans fought for our nation’s freedom. Freedom only can exist if our Constitution is respected and honored. Stopping newspaper censorship and government abuse this is the only thing that a Veteran wants given to them.

I hope Senator Amanda Merrill can understand. Mandy is a great person, I just hope she remembers that the United States of America always must come first. The United States is We the People..

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi

Use Less Newspapers 1-26-09

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls Rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

Newspapers get thinner in volume implying that there is less news to print. Maybe a response from a reader about the Don Galloway story will get printed. How the Ironsides detective wrote funny and amusing editorials for the paper. Maybe instead of funny and amusing the readers want to be informed about how UNH Hockey coach gets almost 4 hundred thousand a year. May be all the readers want is to be informed about what is happening using the most important source of information. That would be the opinion of the people. How about the opinion that talks about the 4% pay raise congress tacked on to a bill so that our elected officials can rake in the money as the U.S. goes broke. Maybe the words from Veterans describing what we went through. People say talking about it makes accepting what we did easier to live with. Society says that we need to do more for the Veterans. Society forgets those silent veterans, as the saying goes why help those that go unnoticed. I understand why Veterans are reluctant to speak about over there. Society can not accept the atrocity veterans inflicted on others (as we did) to keep the U.S. safe and free. If we talk about it we are crying and looking for pity. We are proud of our actions which society calls us demented war Mongols for. Newspapers are getting thinner because they fail to fill the void. Advertisers are telling them what is ok to print, which is not what the readers want and need to hear.

No matter whom the truth harms the newspaper should not care. People want to be informed on what is the real deal. Not what the editors think will sell more advertising. The truth (even when it harms society it self) must be told. Freedom exists because, for a government to represent the best interest of all citizens equally, we must have an informed society. Reality is that I am a 100% disabled Veteran. The newspapers imply that I am a danger to society refusing to print my opinion letters or response. How dangerous can a person that volunteers every day to help others be? I ran for elected state office this past September only to have the newspaper harm my character to interferers with the voters choice. The newspapers are harming the citizens of the United States by covering for a select few in our society. Freedom of the press is not for protecting the newspapers but so society can hear the truth no matter which powerful people get harmed. U.S. citizens must be informed that the newly elected NH officials refuse to help a 100% disabled veteran because of what the newspapers did to him.

The people need to hear how the American Legion and VFW disown a 100% disabled veteran that questions their political powerful connections. The people need to hear how the NH Veteran’s hospital stopped treating a 100% disabled veteran’s service connected disabilities for political considerations. The people need to hear how the silent demons of war never leave the thoughts of Veterans that were able to come home.

The question is are people willing to accept a thinner newspaper or does society want to hear the truth. I can not make the newspapers print my opinion letters, but I would like to be around when society finally learns what NH did to a disabled veteran that volunteers every day to help others. I am the reality that tells (Veteran’s should never come home to a society that rejects our opinion) the thin newspapers can not stand the extra weight. Reality is that I will not be here on that day because I do not belong, for what I did in the name of PEACE.

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi

Suicide and H-ell 1-25-09

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

Do the U.S. citizens live by a standard of ethics and moral belief’s? Is not society set and capable of existence on rules and laws? Did God not create all men, born-equal, free and independent? Ask not to write another boring letter, Ask why the government wrongs are not stopped. NH government and VA have violated all the rules of a civilized society.? Tell me that the editors have not breached every ethical belief that created freedom of the press in the U.S.? Can one person make a difference? In a civilized society is not communication the proper channel to correct differences of opinion? Is it not the law that no one constitutional right of no one person can be violated at any time? If as a U.S. Military Veteran I can prove that the criminal acts committed by government personal that have been put in writing thousands of times do exist and are true facts why has nothing been done? Do the standards and laws only exist to protect and prosper a special class of citizens? Do Vietnam Veteran’s belong in the U.S.

My Veteran’s medical has been for all intents and purposes been stopped. Do you as a society believe that the medical conditions and situations expressed in my letters are false. The VA has asked me to commit suicide. Yet to pressure me to do it they send the police to harass me in the name (that I might commit suicide) so they can lock me up. My pain got so bad a few months ago from my service connected disabilities that I asked the VA to fill my pain medication. They have not done it. I get token visits to doctors only to fill the pages of my medical records for public scrutiny. My medical was stopped to help U.S. Rep Shea-Porter stop my opinion letters. Judge Peter Fauver is a criminal. I dare say this (even though the sheriff told me I would be arrested if I did) because it is true. Judge Fauver allowed the Madbury NH selectmen to use government powers for personal retaliation against other U.S. citizens. I volunteer to help this family and the NH government takes my constitutional rights away. The NH governor refuses to speak with a NH voter (Me). Did I come home to a place that I do not belong?

I have tried communication through the court, government and news. I refuse to be violent to others U.S. citizens so the government has me over a barrel. I feel like I am in the benjo ditch and there is no way out. I realize that you can not grasp the feeling and are bored with my repeating it. Even if it was a dream you have no idea the peace and friendship I felt as I drifted through the air. The joy as the wind caught my existence and took me up ward to the top of that tree. I felt as though this Marine was going to leave the benjo ditch for ever more. The sound of the mortar as the birch tree snapped safely placing me back in the benjo ditch for ever more. My two worlds are colliding and society exists only in my thoughts. Am I a coward because I lay here in this benjo ditch not firing my M-16 or am I dead already. Is communication not possible about ethics and moral belief’s if death exists.

We have many questions here that can not be answered because no one hears the words of a Dead Marine. I may be only speaking loudly in my mind for eternity but the pride I get from being a U.S. Marine and doing it for our Nation (even if a civilized society deems my actions wrong). We do it for the United States of America.

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi

Answer to repeat conversations

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls Rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

Yesterday started out good. Then my left eye started to close, off and on with out my control. The Left side of my face was tingling and my head was pounding. It got so bad that I had to stop with my letter when my left eye did not open. My wife made me lay on the couch and before I knew it, it was almost noon. To get me out of the house last night my wife took me to a UNH women’s hockey game. I got excited during the game and my wife kept trying to make me sit quietly. My medical condition is what it is. I can not change it. What I can do is live life to the fullest, until I die. It is like the VA doctor telling me that my symptoms do not fit the criteria of my disabilities. I endure the pain and only take medication if it is absolutely necessary. I can not tell the doctor symptoms to meet his protocol. I sometimes forget that I have a broken back or I ignore that I can not hear what other people are saying. I forget things even while trying to describe to the doctor what has been my symptoms or conditions that I endured. I forget entire conversations while talking to the doctors. Some people say that my letters ramble on. Others say that my letters are to repetitive. My letters are my way of communicating to the world what I am thinking of, at that moment. Did yesterday happen? According to my wife it did. I remember the events but not when it happen.

I am a 100% disabled Veteran. The Veteran’s administration is playing games with my life and there is nothing that I can do. I can not even get the newly elected NH officials to help. It is the NH elected officials that are the catalyst to why my VA medical was stopped. I volunteer to help a Madbury family trying to stop the Madbury officials criminal use of government powers. Judge Peter Fauver criminally violates the law to help the Madbury selectmen. The NH supreme court covers up the case. The Newspapers shelter the criminal acts because they are to incredible to believe. The VA because of U.S. Rep Shea-Porter from NH is using my service connected medical condition to stop my opinion letters. Is this to repetitive?

I actually remember jumping the other day and how peace full the event was. The VA told me to commit suicide or take mind controlling drugs. I have no answers, only questions. I have no memory of my up bringing because of a head injury.

Ask the world how a disabled veteran can write such a complaint letter and get no help. My letters are not even worth the VA acknowledging as the law requires them to do. Has the truth become so mo-not-ness that repeating it only makes the cover up easier? Are people so reluctant to help because I am to repetitive? Is it just that I am considered crazy that my medical conditions and complaints can be ignored.

I do not want your pity. I want someone to say this is the United States of America and treating any veteran like this can never be tolerated. To use any citizen’s medical as a government control weapon can not be tolerated. I have written so many letters telling of my conditions. My repetitiveness only makes (when and if) something does happen the catalyst for the questions and consequences to come about. How many NH elected officials that stayed on the side lines for their own political safety will fall. How many VA and government officials will come tumbling down because they ignored the law and allowed U.S. Military Veterans to be tortured and humiliated for their own selfish reasons. I can not get medication for the pain. The VA uses it as a weapon.

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi

One person 1 23 09

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

If I can get through to one person could more follow. This must be a question that even President Obama should answer. He is my commander and chief. The VA hospital has taken a deaf ear to my complaints. VA officials violate the law to inflict harm on a disabled veteran (any Veteran) and there is no recourse for the veteran. Think how loudly I am speaking these words? Think how many deaf ears are connected to our deaf leaders. I dare speak about Judge Fauver’s criminal acts that the NH supreme court covered up. The NH government uses the trusted power of the people to inflict harm to shut me up. The newspapers censor my words to protect the established way. The VA in NH tells a 100% disabled veteran to commit suicide or start taking mind altering drugs. The editors use the newspapers to harm my character in the public eye to tamper with an election. People this is your country don’t let it slip away. It takes one person to start a solution. The Veteran’s administration is a government department to help returning Veterans not control their lives. Will anyone one person listen to these wrongs?

Veterans across the U.S. are being neglected and deprived of medical care. I speak so loudly because my case is so well documented. U.S. Rep Shea-Porter used her government powers to take my freedom. She had a VA Dr file involuntary commitment orders. When this failed she filed a false police complaint. When this failed the VA stopped my medical care for service connected disabilities. The newspapers censor my opinion words from the public. The crimes being committed here are so outrageous that the public can not comprehend it. Think about it, I just in writing told of crimes that if were false would be harming these public officials character. I dare put it in writing for every one to see because the facts are so well documented.

These are serious times and we need to take serious action. The VA doctored my records to show (document) that I receive adequate medical care. What they do not show is that I can not get pain medication for service connected disabilities. The VA has refused to answer (as required by law) in writing my complaint letters. The VA diagnosed my fourth service connected disability as PTSD, but ignores my case. VA officials ridicule in a sadistic manner my letters with emails to each other across the U.S.

The VFW, American Legion ignores a disabled veteran’s letters to benefit their political connections. When the people of the United states refuse to help a disabled veteran (or any veteran) to protect the established government officials maybe we as a nation have exceeded our purpose for the United States to exist.

My left eye has been closing off and on all morning. It has just closed and will not re open at all. My head pain has exceeded my limit to with stand. I must go and lay down. I will email this letter late today if I can.

From a disabled Veteran to the greatest nation in the world

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi

Depressed 1-22-09

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

Dejected, downcast, sad, gloomy, are powerful negative words. Could it be that I stayed huddled in a dark room all day yesterday trying to give reason to continue. Life just does not make any since. The Veteran’s Administration violates the law to harm a disabled Veteran and our elected officials and judicial branch of government labels the 100% disabled Veteran a danger to society and rejects him. Is not the primary function of our government to be of the people for the people. VA and government officials read my letters every day not for the content but to identify words that they can deprive freedom and possible get me to commit suicide. The other day I imagined peace and harmony as I floated to the ground. When the wind wrapped around and took me toward the sky eternity engulfed my mind. When the branch stuck in my leg, reality seemed gloomy as the birch tree lowered me to the ground. I became downcast and sad. I was ordered by a VA official to commit suicide or take mind altering drugs. The record exists as if society sees rejecting a 100% disabled Veteran is a benefit to the U.S. budget The NH elected officials use the law to inflict harm on a 100% disabled Veteran to cover up government wrongs. Everyone is afraid of losing their safe haven to speak up to help a Veteran.

I have an intelligent, beautiful wife and three great daughters. I want for nothing except to make the U.S. a better place for all. I served my country as a U.S. Marine. I volunteer every day since I came home to help others. Here is the question. Did I really come home? It is hard for you all to understand with out being in my shoes. It is easy to label this disabled Veteran crazy because I do not conform to societies logic of what is acceptable in another. I have not violated the law. You try coming back to a country that you love and fought for with no memory of ever being here before. You try making since out of all the strange situations cast at you with no back ground on how to react or reject. Does it make since that I should have such a great life when society see me as a danger. Does it make since that society tells me volunteering makes a better person then slams the jail door shut. Does it make since that the NH government can violate the law and society turns a deaf ear. Does it make since that the newspapers and NH government can interferer with a free election and no one will speak up. Does it make since that the news media would censor the words of a disabled Veteran being harmed. How can one have so much? Is this a dream and I am still in that benjo ditch for eternity?

Our elected NH officials, judges and VA officials are violating the law to harm a disabled veteran and there is no recourse. Other Veteran’s write me, call me, and email me to ask for help in their situations. There are so many veterans out there asking for help or that just gave up and accept eternity as the answer because society does not want us. How can any nation cast down on those that gave everything for their future freedom. The newspapers reject the opinion letters of this 100% disabled veteran as a way of reassuring society that I do not belong. I am not a depressed Veteran. What I am is as so many other Veterans lost in a country that does not accept us because we are the ones logic can not explain. My first words in this letter are the definition of depression. Can the editors explain why they? Forget it! There are a lot of words in this letter to come down on me for but may be, answers would be better for the United States to achieve.

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper FI

Danger to society 1-21-09

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

Is pity necessary? I try my hardest to work to make the U.S. a better place for all. Race, Religion, origin, makes no difference to me. Rich or poor my belief is that we all must receive equal treatment under the law. I do not believe in violating the law. My entire purpose is to make things better with in the confines of the law. Some people on the blogs ridicule my style of writing or my willingness to place every thing that I have in life on my belief in the U.S. I do not want to make people help me because the torment that the NH governor has put me through, no one deserves. Government powers can not be used to harm U.S. citizens willing to speak freely about wrongs in government. If people want to ask the newspapers why my opinion letters have been censored, Please do. When the NH government can use the medical care given to a disabled veteran for the purpose of stopping this veteran’s opinion letters, some thing is wrong. To help defeat me the editors have mocked and harmed my character in articles to stop my run for NH elected office. The news refused to print my opinion letters in response. Granted you are probably all correct in that because of my head injury and other disabilities that I received defending this nation, maybe I am not qualified. Does this mean that my constitutional rights should be diminished. Why did we come home?

I do not want your pity. I did 31 months overseas during the Vietnam conflict. Two of my injuries are combat related. I had no memory of the U.S. that first day that I stepped into San Francisco airport coming home. I have struggled every day with what I knew as the norm to what was necessary to live in a civilized society. Can some one want to die so bad for what they did. Not because what they did was wrong but because they are proud of the uncivilized atrocity this society dooms them for. I remember every day that child that I stuck a bayonet into get my M-16 back and escape. I remember so much of the wrongs life does not make since. Unknowingly every day citizens make reminder comments (not at Veteran’s past actions) but that in a strange way make us question if it was right for us to come home. Some will mock this letter with pity and innuendos. That is the freedom that We the Veteran’s fought for. So it is ok.

Can you tell me if it is ok for the VA to stop a Veteran’s medical care? How about the VA telling a disabled veteran to commit suicide. How about the VA refusing to give me medicine for pain this very day, when the pain is from defending this nation. Does the VA have the right not to answer my complaint letters when it is the law that they must. I do not want your pity. Just tell me why, if society does so much as a society behind the curtain to make Veteran’s feel wrong for coming home, why let us. The records in this case are so well documented, that it warrants public exposure.

Some thing or some one, of a higher power has prevented me from leaving no matter how hard that I try. I realize that the VA wants me to commit suicide, but I had no idea that the wind would carry me to safety. Maybe a higher power is telling me that my leaving before completing my mission would be to make what so many over the history of this nation gave their lives for be in Vain. Society’s mocking me or giving pity only allows what so many men and women fought for to be lost. Can you imagine if NH can do this to a 100% disabled Veteran, what power will they have over you? It is your future and the future of our children that giving pity to would be best.

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi

Obama Change 1-20-09

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls Rd Lee NH 02824 603-659-6217

What has changed? We have a new president and he is Black. Big deal! The first thing that changed is this president spends and spends more than any U.S. President before him on his coming out party. Where does it all end. A president that calls for change during the campaign and uses money in the disaster relief fund for a party is not change it is just a bigger spender. U.S. citizen’s are so amazed that we have a black president they forget about the conditions that we elected him to help change for the better. Black’s are so thrilled that they are in the white house it is now acceptable to tell all that they expect a bigger piece of the pie. This country (U.S.) in so far past broke that it will take a miracle to correct it. President Clinton would have put the U.S. on the right path to correcting the wrongs but the christen belief made a big deal out of a indiscretion . We elected Bush on his moral belief’s and his fathers reputation. The Republican party that claims to be conservative dug us a hole by breaking every campaign promise and we the people sucked it right up to re-elect Bush. I voted for Obama but was torn between the two. I voted for Obama because he promised change and he was young enough to be the change that we needed. Barack before he even takes office has out spent everyone before him. All as people see is the color of skin. We are American people, why do we have to look at skin color. Change would have, should have been this president taking office on the run, and working to make the United States better. There should have been a televised ceremony for any one that wanted to see could have. No money spent. All parties should have been delayed or called off to show the People (black or white) change was coming. One man had a dream that one day the color of one’s skin would not make a difference. If you want change let us NOT look at the color of ones skin. Let us look at the state of the nation that we call the United States of America and put her first for future generations. That is a change Black or White that would show the world that we are a nation of one (meaning all the citizens have equal rights of justice and of government service) working for our country first.

I hope that the newspapers print this letter. I hope President Obama reads this letter and learns that the color of ones skin can not matter that it is the welfare of our country that must come first. The people of America elected YOU, Barack not on the color of your skin but on the quality of your character. Please make Martin L King Jr. proud of you. This was the change of a man not Black or White but a great person that had a Dream.

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi

Killing the Village Dog 1-18-09

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

I have no idea it is true or real, it has always, as long as my memory is; with me. Killing the village dog with an entrenching tool. The other day was so cold and windy. I was sweating with layers of clothing in my solar heated 80degree house shivering with cold. Does it make since. Killing the dog to stop his given my position away and a bloody bayonet just kept circling my mind. There are no other memories of the dog that I recall. There never has been. The memory of the dog is like the convoy where I escaped and ran back to the village after passing my test to be a U.S. Marine. These memories are with me every day. I stuck a bayonet in a child to get my M-16 back. The convoy facts are one of many memories that I remember of my tour. I have vivid memories every day of different events. The dog I have never been able to explain. I just remember beating a dog with an entrenching tool to keep my position. This is the first time I told of the dog.

Can the facts in my life be to fantastic to be real. The facts of my life after discharge have been just as un real. I have a fantastic, beautiful wife and three great daughters. I have a fantastic house and everything else any one could want. Why? Is this real. Some of the things that I have done in civilian life are just as crazy and unreal to be true. But they did happen and are real. Can you imagine telling a judge in a court room that his actions are criminal right to his face. Judge Fauver violated the constitution on purpose and I told him. Can you imagine volunteering to help people you only know from the phone call asking for your help. Can you imagine taking on the Madbury NH selectmen because they are using government powers to get revenge for personal reasons on this family. Can you imagine volunteering every single day of your life to help others and the NH government declaring you a terrorist under the Patriot Act. Can you imagine going to jail because you believe in the Constitution so much. All this makes no since just like believing that the courts would protect criminal government actions to harm the individual against everything this nation (U.S.) is built on. The NH supreme court condemned me, by refusing to hear a case about a criminal judge. Is this believable?

I remember how much freedom that I felt after jumping. I was floating through the air when a gust of wind wrapped around me. The joy of ending the memory of what I have done. The peace of knowing a better place must be near. The feeling of raising up ward when all logic says that when you jump to land head first on rocks far below one always travels down. The pain in my leg as the branch on the top of a birch tree ripped through my pant leg and stuck in my upper leg. The grace full descent to the ground as the tree lowered me with ease. The memory of the mortar round that destroyed the out house that I exited seconds earlier became real as the sound of the tree snapping echoed through the air. Can any of this be true. Does the eternity of h-ell rage for those that committed those uncivilized actions for a freedom that we will never enjoy.

Does the newspapers censor my opinion because it is questionable if truth or reality really exist in this U.S. Marine. Is censorship what Martin L King had in mind as President Obama takes the oath of office tomorrow. Can change happen “I had a dream” My dream was to see the U.S. just once before I died. I wish that dream never happen. Can I really be in a country where freedom is for all the people black or white?

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi

Public Radio 1-15-09

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

On public Radio this morning a Marine was being interviewed about playing golf in the Da Nang Golf tournament. Did he have an apprehensions about returning to Vietnam after so many years? Just yesterday I was talking to a Army veteran stationed in Da Nang 68-69. There is no purpose to these incidents they are just thoughts that came into my head while writing. That is what happens. My medical condition does not fit any protocol. I do not create symptoms to meet what the doctor would call normal. My medical conditions are what the VA diagnosed. I have a head injury from a car accident right out of boot camp which left me with no memory. I have a loss of hearing from being blown of the runway during a Vietnam offensive. I have a broken back from a different Vietnam offensive. I came back to the U.S. with no memory of ever being here before. I met my parents and family for the first time that I remember on that day. The Marine Corps dumped me into a world that I dreamed of living long enough to just see once before I died. All this could be true or it could be something programmed into my head by our government to see what will happen when someone with no memory is made to believe and react to different situation. The one situation that never leaves my mind is to make the United States of America first. This I learned in sub-human conditions as a Marine during my first years of memory. Apprehension that the public radio interview can talk about but can not feel. I am a 100% disabled Marine with medical disabilities that can not get medical care. What is public radio or any form of public communication for if only symptoms that can be explained are talked about. Is censorship the U.S. protocol? Do ethics and morals have any meaning?

I would be woken up in the middle of the night for missions that my CO would call “For the U.S”. I would be put on a flight to some place (where hell would be at home) to repair something. I for some reason had the ability to repair things with what ever was available. I would be sent on convoys as an America Advisor and live in conditions that I believe were normal. No record exists to a lot of situations that I survived are they true or just memories that I can not get out of my head. I would be told that I can not talk about things and situations when I returned to base camp. Did I really jump off the other day to stop the memories by landing head first on some rocks? Is it possible for the wind to stop such a situation by hooking my pant leg on a tree top and lowering me to the ground safely. Does the cut on my upper leg mean anything. Am I doomed to live with out medical care to see how someone that should never have come back will react? Is this why no matter how bad the situation got over there I could live with the pain to complete the mission no matte what? The U.S. must come first.

I can not explain a lot of things just like public radio. I can not explain why U.S. public communication blocks the public from hearing the opinion of a U.S. Marine that could have been there. I can not explain volunteering to help others every day because that is what I am. I can not explain Carol Shea-Porter’s claiming to help Veterans when she causes a lot of my pain for coming home, or the NH governor shunning me. Did I ever really come back or am I still dreaming of seeing the country that I place first no matter what. Does U.S. communications have ethics and morals?

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi

To Editors and VA DR’s 1-15-08

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

Caught between a rock and a hard spot. That is the way I would classify the VA Dr Potenza. Here is a man that cares about his patients, yet the system dictates to what degree he can treat Veteran’s in need. Out of the blue Dr Dan called me yesterday just to see how I was doing. I am doing fine I told him. I could not tell him differently because that would give the VA a reason to take my freedom. WE talked about my pain medication that I asked the VA for over a month ago. I only take drugs if the pain is so bad that I just can not take it any more. I live in pain every day so it must be pretty bad for me to want medication, seeing that my last prescription lasted over 5 year and it was not that many pills. My pain comes and goes in it’s severity. The VA fixes my medical records so if some one reads them it shows the care given is adequate. If some one reviewed my medical records it would show the VA person in charge of NH asked me to commit suicide. My records should show my care is limited and sub-standard Dr Dan asked me about a letter that I wrote. I explained at most times I do not remember writing my letters. What I put in my letters are my emotions at the time that I am writing. My letters are true even though I do not remember some of the events described in those letters for weeks, months or even years later, if ever. My letters are from a Marine with a head injury that the VA uses to harm my character to keep the public from understanding. Described as a loose cannon, nut, danger and many more degrading comments to help the VA win a publicity war against me. Paranoid No. I may have a head injury and three other military connected disabilities but I understand situations. The news refuses to inform the public of my volunteering every day to help others. I am not a danger.

I fully understand my two worlds and that I can not justify with logic. This is why for over 30 years I never mentioned it. Society just can not accept. I understood a few years after discharge the unwritten rule that veteran’s do not talk about certain events in their lives. Silence, lonely ness, self destruction will to, full-fill our obligation to protect this society rather than speak about what keeps them free. Society uses veteran’s medical conditions to label us to use as an alarm to protect the tax budget and projects to aid in elections. It is easier to stay silent than give society a weapon to take what little self respect we have left. Veteran’s seldom speak of this part of their lives with family or friends because it will destroy perceptions of what we try to be since coming home. Most people will probably not understand what I am talking about because civilized society can not admit what we did. The perfect example is the newspapers censoring my opinion letters because their readers will give bad reviews. Communication is what makes a society better. Dr Dan wants to understand but knows that he will never know fully.

Do I want to die. No one wants to. I want to get out of this benjo ditch of eternity. I wrote a book about my tour in the Marine Corps and life with amnesia. I am not an idiot or a danger. I am a 100% disabled veteran that the VA is trying to help the NH government take my free speech away. The newspapers do not want to publish my opinion letters because society can not accept. Dr Dan is a good person caught between a rock and a hard place. My VA medical was stopped to stop me. Coming home is worse than being there. Dr Dan is a good person and I wish that I could talk to him, but I will answer to my demons and no one can stop me. Who’s the Rock and what Hard Place?

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi Thank You Dr Dan

New Hampshire elected officials 1-15-09

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

I ask the newly elected and those with experience to look at my letters and request to speak to the NH government. This “Redress of Grievances” part of our constitution may not be used any more but it is a part of our Constitution. It is the most important part because it allows those that the system has ignored or damaged to inform the full house of wrongs in government. People whom do not know me will tell you “I am a scary person”, that “I am a danger to society”. I am neither. I volunteer every day to help others to make life in the U.S. better for all. You can be assured if you fail to honor my request to speak to the full house, that the newspapers will not inform the NH public. The editors have decided to censor my opinion letters and crucify my character in their articles. I am a 100% disabled veteran. I served as a U.S. Marine during the Vietnam Conflict. For you to grant a citizen time can not be to much to ask the newly elected government. I have filed many Redress of Grievances only to be harm further.

I will be up front as I have been every where I go. I have serious disabilities from my tour in the MC. I do not look disabled to the average eye. My life as a U.S. citizen since I returned in 1974 has been a struggle. I do not violate the law and I give as much as I can to make life better for others in U.S. The NH government has worked with the VA to stop my medical care for service connected injuries. The NH government has taken my freedom under the Patriot Act. The NH government uses the state and local police to harass my family. The local sheriff under the direction of Judge Fauver detains me to stop my opinion letters. NH’s U.S. Rep Shea-Porter uses her federal powers to interfere with my freedom and disabilities. My Constitutional rights have been so dismantled by the New Hampshire government I have no where to go.

The funny thing is that I talk about my continuing trips in my mind to places no one should ever experience. Over thirty years I have learned to live with and accept that I can never come home. How can something be real if what we are fighting for does not exist. “That the United States government works for the people” I have talked about how this Marine is stuck in a benjo ditch, dead and this is the eternal he-ll. I have done (what this civilized society rules) many cruel and harmful acts to other human beings. Being proud of my actions with out feelings, or compassion this society can not accept.

Yesterday was one of those trips. I wanted so much to get out of he-ll that in my mind jumped off a high spot to land head first in a bed of rocks. The feeling of freedom as I floated through the air was so peaceful. A gust of wind caught me and took me away. My pant leg caught the top of a birch tree. A branch tour through the material as the tree bent to the ground. A few feet from touching the earth a loud snap like “incoming” rang through my ears. My pant leg was torn and blood ran out of my right upper leg as I got into my truck. The reality is did I come home and because of my actions society took my guaranteed rights away. Can my body still be over there for eternity and I will never come home.

You the people of the United State of America have some serious questions to ask the State of New Hampshire. What are we fighting for? Next stop is Vietnam!

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi

Crazy thoughts VA induced 1014-09

Send a copy of this letter to the VA IG and Dr Potenza and Dr Levenston at the NH VAH

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

Traveling down a pipe, being sucked in while the wind blows against you, out the pipe. A thought or action that goes against what we believe can actually happen. Our founding father’s seeing newspapers censoring the opinion of the people when that opinion expresses wrongs in government. U.S. government officials openly going against the Constitution to seek and harm individual US citizens they do not like. The public protecting their own safe haven’s with out care for the people around them. The government interfering with a disabled veteran’s medical care to stop the individual from writing letters to the editor. A Veteran sitting on a street corner homeless. Will that journey down the pipe some day be recognized as a normal event.

People helping other people with out care for self profit or gratification. The welfare of a nation that can mean so much to the individual that he gives so that others may live a better life. People volunteering time, energy, prays, thoughts and much more to make what little, people have a utopia. A nation where power and people live in harmony for the benefit of all equally. A place where people’s status or wealth does not make a difference in one’s social climate of rights to interact with others. Prosecutors that seek justice not revenge or self improvement status. Jails that help teach and train our less fortunate lowering the costs and needs to benefit society rather than cage human beings. Elections where party affiliation does not determine the best person. Elected officials that work for little pay but rather does many great things for the nation where it is the people that matter first. Can we profit from the thoughts of some one our government disowns and seeks to eliminate. Will that journey down the pipe some day be recognized.

The wind blows and the temperature is cold today. I travel in two worlds that society believes can not happen. My criteria does not meet the norms of what VA doctor’s believes that are medically recognized possibilities. My head implodes as my mind bursts with needs to make a nation that I do not belong, be better for others. I must commit suicide as directed by the head of the VA in NH. Do we know if suicide is possible for a U.S. Marine who’s dead body lays this very day in a benjo ditch never to be found. Is it possible for a journey to end if it never started? The opinion of the people can not be censored in the United States of America because it is the opinion of the people that makes our government possible. Can a person travel down a pipe against the wind and be sucked in at the same time. Will our founding fathers some day be proud because the newspapers recognized ethics and responsibility only can be created by the opinion of the people. Will this journey some day be recognized as a normal event?

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi