NH State Senate’s Loss? 10-31-08

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls Rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

What a country we live in. We brag about freedom, but does it really exist. We have demonstration and elections claiming freedom is all around us. We tell every one how we stand up and help others especially the little guy. I actually believe all this about a nation of “We the People” but have we had freedom so long that it is taken for granted. You know I keep harping on this point that I ran for NH state senate only to be black balled by the news and NH government. It is we the people that lost. Don’t get me wrong. Amanda Merrill is a great person. She will do right for the state of NH. Electing Amanda Merrill will totally benefit every one of Us. That is not to say if I had won the primary that I would not have. You can have two equally qualified people running for the same office and that is good. That is what makes us the U.S. better than any other country. But it must be the people’s choice. I like Amanda and I will vote for her. I recommend every one else vote for her. I do what is right for the United States of America even if it is a loss to me. This is why I volunteer every day to help others. Volunteering not only makes me feel good it is good for the U.S. I set my pain aside to make the U.S. better for all equally. I do not want your thanks or pity. What I want is for every one to wake up. I want you all to see that our U.S. Military is fighting on foreign soil for your freedom. Veteran’s come home to a place that we do not belong. We ask nothing from you except to be treated equally as all others. Our politicians now use the words to claim to help veterans to get elected then turn a deaf ear after.

I am a 100% disabled Veteran. I have four injuries. Three are combat related from separate missions. Because I dare speak freely and tell the world that Judge Fauver is a criminal NH is torturing me. They put me in jail for trumped up charges then dropped them. They harass me with the state and local police. The local sheriff office harasses my family by arresting me. NH state U.S. Rep Shea-Porter interfered with my medical condition for her demented reasons. The NH director of the VA stopped my medical care to aid NH in stopping my free speech. I ran for elected state office and the editors did great stories on Amanda and crippling one lines about me to turn the voters against me. I write opinion letters about wrongs in government only to have the public completely blocked from hearing my words. Our elected officials tell me to my face what I am doing is right and they praise me for it. They also refuse to speak in public of my case because it could put them on the bad side of powerful people. The NH elected officials refuse to allow me a “Redress of Grievances when this is guaranteed in the NH constitution. The NH governor Lynch uses the state police to tell me to commit suicide. The VA director tells me this same thing. The Boston Globe writes me to tell me to commit suicide. I am a 100% disabled U.S. Marine trying to do what is best for our nation. Let’s get out there and Vote on Tuesday. I will vote for Amanda Merrill because I can only speak good about her. What a Nation we live in.

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi

Veteran’s Day 10-30-08

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

Veteran’s Day is a day to celebrate the Veteran’s around you. A chance for the U.S. citizens that never served to thank those that did. The most important part of a Veteran, the U.S. society seems to miss. We were children that went away to learn a side of life that no one should ever have to see, but it does exist. Not all veteran’s saw or experienced the same horrors. Each branch of the U.S. Military has it’s own missions and difficulties. Any person that served in the U.S. Military deserves the same respect just for being there for this country. Is Veteran’s Day for the Veteran’s or so society can feel good?

I am a 100% disabled Veteran, from the Vietnam Conflict. I write letters every day that the newspapers all censor. I have talked about important issues of homeless Veteran’s that society neglects. I have talked about the Veteran that comes home disabled and does not realize it. This is the Veteran with the silent demons of war that come to light years after discharge. How about the Veteran incarcerated for crimes of not being able to separate where he has been from this civilized society that he now occupies. I am talking about the disabled veteran that has medical care denied because of criminal VA admin or hospital personal. How about the Manchester NH American Legion that physically removes a veteran because a U.S. Rep Shea-Porter is coming.

I ran for NH state senate this past primary. I have not violated the law, but I did follow all proper procedures to run. Don’t get me wrong. Amanda Merrill is someone that will represent every one with a passionate heart. She will do a great job for the people of NH. She will have my vote and full support. The Newspapers wrote great articles about Amanda and critical one liners to harm my image in the voters eye. Freedom of the press was stopped by the editors by not printing my opinion letters. A Veteran’s words censored because the government and editors look down on him.

I am willing to tell the world that judge Peter Fauver is a criminal. He may not have been charged because the NH Supreme Court is biased. We presented a case to the NH SC detailing 29 or more Constitutional crimes of Fauver. Fauver used the court to aid the Madbury NH selectmen in using government powers for the selectmen’s personal revenge against local residents. I volunteered my time to help one family that was so desperate they called me because of a letter to the editor that I wrote. To stop my free speech NH declared me a terrorist and locked me up. The bogus charge were eventually dropped. NH law enforcement harass me. Secret Service harasses me, and the newspapers censor my opinion. NH governor Lynch tells me he will meet with me, then shut me out. Our NH elected officials praise my actions in person but refuse to go public to let the citizens on NH decide. The news makes it out that I am a danger to society, I am not. I volunteer every day to help others since I came back in 1974 to this very day.

Veteran’s want you to not diminish what we gave our innocents and many their lives for. That is the equal protection of the law and equal participation of government services for every U.S. citizen. Our Constitution. We want nothing special just for you to understand we are different from those that never have been there. Some of us came back to a society we do not belong. This is why suicide is high among Veterans

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi

Dr Dan Where is the people 10-29-08

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

How can one talk to Dr Dan or any one else? I am a U.S. Marine I trust no one; Nothing is real! Life is strange! Writing a letter like this, I realize how it is going to be defined and subject to review. One just has to look at the meaning of reality. I came into this world for all intents and purposes at the age of seventeen. That is when my mind woke up in the Portsmouth military hospital. I have TBI. Traumatic brain injury. People one day told me that I was a Marine. So what?? People told me whom my parents, brothers and sister were. Big deal? I was shipped overseas for 31 months as a U.S. Marine. My assignments and orders were to complete the mission at any cost. Risk others lives and destroy anything in the way to complete the mission. I was to keep my mouth shut when asked question on what I did. Others do not believe that I have no memory of my life before the age of seventeen. Others can not conceive that my words are the truth. I have become accustom to the questions and situations caused by having no memory. I do not understand but that is different. I have lived through some really tough situations believing this is normal life and my mission is all that counts. I learned social skills as a U.S. Marine, that you back here call despicable. You are what you learn! I have tried to change but how. For 31 months overseas as a U.S. Marine I survived with limited hearing and a broken back believing every one suffered as this. I came back to be spit on and called a baby killer in the San Francisco airport. I did not take offense for years after because I thought the U.S. was as I had been living. I like Dr Dan, (with what is happening because I learned what the Constitution was, is and now people perceive my obligation as a U.S. Marine and my obligation to protect and defend the Constitution) how far? Dr Dan is one of the nicest people and caring. I have qualified Dan as someone that helps people over obeying the system‘s disregard for care . The question is, that trust can defeat you? In a conflict you kill those that oppose you. Here in a civilized society you trust and then you are doomed to what the consequences end. I have many times wanted to talk to Dr Dan. How? I can trust him or can’t. He is a part of the system or not. He is trying to get into my head to end this or lock me up? Reality!

I learned and trusted that the U.S. had laws that people lived by and a Constitution that protected people against government wrongs. Trust to me was believing that the checks and balances of the system would protect the people against any one group becoming dominant to violate the people’s trust. Judge Fauver violated the Constitution to help the Madbury NH selectmen get revenge on local resident that the selectmen did not like. U.S. Rep Shea-Porter interfered with a disabled veterans medical care. The VA stopped my medical care. I was locked up as a terrorist. The newspapers refuse to print the truth. If all this and much more was not documented truth you could question my mental state. The Facts are that I am in a place that I do not belong. I can not adjust fast enough to obeying the law and having people (government officials and law enforcement violating the very rules, laws and Constitution which is the base for my reality as a U.S. Marine) want more. Reality no longer exists. No one believes me or will help me. I have volunteered every day to help others. I am standing on an island where everyone praises me but silently rejects me. How can one talk to Dr Dan when reality is not possible. Trust does not exist where reality is not present. Am I depressed? I will tell you what I am “I am in a deep hole and there is no way out. Others around me are telling me this is where all Marines end up. It is called Hell. I am a U.S. Marine that believes doing the right actions to protect and defend our Constitution can not be stopped or altered. May be I learned something wrong. I survived as a U.S. Marine to defend what I learned was the rights of the people. These rights are documented facts, yet documented facts do not seem to matter in this world.

I am a 100% disabled United States Marine, or am I? I write letters every day for a belief in a nation to make her better. People question what I write, my medical and mental condition. All my letters contain total truth yet the news stops (the checks and balances to correct the wrongs in government) this with their distorted truths.

When I end this letter I will go off and volunteer help to some one. I will appear as every one else. The numbness around my left eye, head pain, body and back pain, questioning the reality around me is always there. While volunteering I may and may not drift into a world no one else can see. Most of the time I can identify when being alone is the only way to keep others from the fear of my unconscious state.

The editors and government officials label me as a danger to society. I am not. This is their way of covering up wrongs in government. Look at the articles the editors and government printed when I ran for election to NH state senate this past primary. Amanda Merrill is a nice person and the state should be honored and pleased to have her as your next NH state senator. I personally know Mandy from around town and I will tell you that she is a credit to NH. The Voters should have had the unbiased choice.

NH elected officials need to look at what is happening. This is my country also. Dr and others I hope you can understand why? The truth is with the moral degrade of the newspapers and government society can no longer trust.

I just got off the phone with Dr Dan. This is what I would have told him if trust was there. I send this letter out to the United States of America to show that his Marine does love this nation. It is to bad the Editor’s can not see to inform their readers.

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi

How do you do it what do you say 10-28-08

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

Kill your self or let the government do it? As a Sgt in charge that was a question someone would ask once in awhile. I did not understand! A Traumatic brain injury out of boot camp left me with no memory of growing up. I did not have any back ground to understand what they were talking about. Because of an admin error I went from the military hospital bed in NH, back to active duty. I served the next 31 months overseas in and out of combat areas and offensives during the Vietnam Conflict. I was in the Marine Air Wing. I did eight convoys as an American advisor. I supervised truck convoys of non-English speaking men delivering surplus supplies to friendly camps in Laos, Cambodia and Thailand. Now I under stand the conflict that made these Marines believe death was better than coming back. These hero’s understood civilized society could not under stand. I have three more injuries (combat related) from my tour. I honestly believe that dying over there would have been better than remembering. (now I get it)

My proudest moment as a Marine was my first kill. Now I can not stop remembering every day the face of that child as his life ended. I was scared and had been removed from a friendly village by three enemy. Taken to a camp a distance from the village, I was tied up, hit and mocked in a language that I only new pieces of. Two drank rice wine at the camp fire and the other walked the perimeter as guard. When the two fell asleep, I freed my hands and escaped. I encountered the guard in the dark. I felt scared but so good when I killed to get my M-16 back. I felt the pride of finally understanding that I passed as a U.S. Marine. I ran to a light in the sky as a marker to the direction that I thought the village was in. The light was a star and it was luck the light was in the proper direction. Society insinuates that my proudest moment was wrong. Every day this child’s face appear in my head. The pride still tingles as the need to feel something conflicts with being in a civilized society (guilt, anger, disgust) and the proud moment of a child becoming a U.S. Marine. Society tells me that I was wrong.

The newspapers mock this Marine as they once did over there. Society would rather take my military disabilities and assume what the government is telling you (that I am a danger and mentally ill) is correct. Against the Constitution these elected officials harm my character in the public eye to stop my free speech. I ran for NH state senate this past primary only to have the NH newspapers harm my character in articles to benefit my opponent. Judge Fauver criminally violated the constitution to help the Madbury NH selectmen get revenge on citizens the selectmen did not like. The newspapers are so biased that one newspaper (Boston Globe) wrote me asking me to commit suicide before writing another letter to the editor. To harm me the editor’s censor my opinion from the public refusing to print my response to what they are doing to me. There is no medical help for me because the VA stopped my medical care. The VA gives me token visits only to produce a record for public display. These are crimes against the U.S.

My proudest moment is being a U.S. Marine. A civilized society just can not understand what we are. Now I understand what those Marine were asking. It is to bad that the editors do not understand what we did it for.

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi

Editors violate People’s trust 10-26-08

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

The Newspaper editor’s are violating the people’s trust for what reason? What do they gain by allowing judges and government officials to violate the law. I volunteer to help other people. I have not violated the law. What do the editors gain by allowing the NH government to intentionally harm a 100% disabled Veteran. What does the Veteran’s administration director in NH get out of stopping a 100% disabled veteran’s medical care for the benefit of these criminal NH judges and government officials? Are the facts to outrageous to believe? I volunteer my time to help a Madbury NH family that the selectmen do not like and are using government powers to harm this family on purpose. Judge Peter Fauver criminally violates the Constitution to benefit these criminal selectmen. The NH supreme court is presented this case in writing, documented facts case 2003-0477 and they refuse to here the case to protect their legal dominance over the people. To stop me from making these facts public judges and government officials violate the law and constitution to stop me and the news media refuses to inform the public.

A newspaper from Salem Oregon contacted me to print my story. I thank them but every newspaper in the U.S. should be printing these facts. It is not me, that we are talking about. I volunteer my time to help other U.S. citizens to make this country better for all. I have four service connected injuries, three are combat related. I dare speak publicly and freely that Judge Peter Fauver violated the Constitution 29 or more times to harm U.S. citizens. This judge used the court power to help the Madbury NH selectmen seek and get revenge against local residents that the selectmen did not like. For any one to use the power of the U.S. government against other U.S. citizens for revenge constitutes a crime. The VA stopped my medical care, NH arrested me and locked me up as a terrorist for 6 months before dropping the bogus charges. And much more.

I can honestly justify killing my self because of what I did in the name of this country. I killed other human beings as a U.S. Marine in the belief that I was doing it for the equal protection of the law to all U.S. citizens. I through all these years never felt guilty or ashamed. Other U.S. citizens have mocked me for having no feelings. The NH VA person in charge told me to commit suicide. The Boston Globe asked me in writing to commit suicide, the NH governor sends the State police to my home to ask me to commit suicide. The NH news with intent to harm wrote great articles about the other candidates for the NH state senate but killed my candidacy with one liners to destroy my image in the voters eyes during this past primary. Are you now afraid to print the truth?

I spent the weekend in Lebanon NH with five friends. My body pain and lack of being able to hear the others talk limited my existence. I made it through with only a few comments about my demeanor. At one point I left the house because I felt the trip my mind was going back to the “Bush”. I can not remember where I went or what I did. My friends asked because of the length of time that past worried them.

The editors wrote about the millions just spent on the NH Veteran’s care hospital in today’s paper. With the number of letters that I write and the thousands of people that read them along with newspapers on the west coast starting to inform their readers may be our elected officials should start questioning the NH VA? Is care only given to Veterans that obey their orders? Can the VA use a disabled veteran’s medical condition as a weapon to stop free speech? This letter is not about me. This letter is the catalyst to see that other veterans are never shown this disrespect and harm. This letter is a U.S. citizen’s way to stop the wrongs in government from ever doing this to another person in the U.S. or even the world. This letter is to show the editor’s and news media the harm censorship of the individuals words can have on a nation.

I give my life to the United States of America because I believe what our forefathers did was good and that only a few missed the boat and are diminishing what We the People built as a nation for an example to the world.

This letter is about you the citizens of the United States of America. Senator McCain or Obama do not have time to help a disabled veteran unless it helps them.

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi

People read my letters. 10-18-08

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

Thousands of people read my letters. Some ask me to stop writing them. I continue because I believe that what our (children) U.S. Military give their lives for can not be in vain. Some people say my letters are a repeat of the same thing every time. The theme may be repetitive but the facts change as our government officials commit more crimes in their attempts to stop me. Don’t you all wonder how I can write such facts stating criminal acts committed by these powerful people and they have no legal way to stop me. These facts of judge Fauver’s miss use of the power of the court is documented in the NH supreme court. The NHSC refused (in their attempt to cover up) to hear the case. Judge Fauver allowed the Madbury selectmen to use government powers for revenge on local residents that the selectmen did not like. Judge Fauver and the Madbury selectmen violated the Constitution at least 29 times. People that I did not even know from Madbury NH read one of my letters in the paper. This family was so desperate because the lawyers and Fauver completely drained them they asked me for help. I volunteered my time because that is what U.S. citizens are obligated to do when government officials violate the law. Judge Fauver is a criminal.

You would think that the news would be all over this case to inform there readers of the truth. I continue because I have to believe that I am back in the U.S. That I am not still lying in some benjo ditch, dead or waiting to die. I have to believe in truth and honor as a United State Marine. I have to believe that my uncivilized actions as a Marine over here are to stop such criminal actions by dominate government officials from ever happening in the U.S. against the people. The news media claims that ethics and the truth is what they stand for. If Thousands of people read my letters each day why would the news not believe they are the truth? If the facts are documented in a court case filed with the NH supreme court why would the news not inform the public? If the VA can stop a 100% disabled Marine’s Medical Care to stop this Marines Letters why not inform the public? If the Boston Globe can tell a reader to commit suicide in writing before sending them another letter to the editor why not tell the public? If the NH governor can send the state police to my home to tell me that “my letters are causing problems at the state capitol the governor would prefer my suicide? If the NH VA director can tell a 100% disabled veteran to kill him self? If the local sheriff can arrest me to stop my letters am I really back in the U.S. Why not inform the public?

I will tell you. The news published great articles on my opponent in this past primary for NH state senate. They put destructive one liners about me to fix the election. Is the News biased? I do not see any facts to say otherwise. I came over here with no memory of every seeing the U.S. before. I had a traumatic brain injury before leaving the U.S. right out of boot camp. I broke my back some time ago during a Vietnam offensive. I can not remember before of after I lost most of my hearing from being blown off a runway during a different offensive. I just killed some one in the bush to get my M16 back and escape. I can not tell no one because I was not to engage. No one on this convoy speak any English any way. Some! friendly village that we stopped at for the night, it does not matter we are back on the road or what ever this path through the bush is. I do want to die over here if this is what living in the U.S. is like but I would like to visit the U.S. and see for my self just once before I die. Thousand of people some day may read this letter to learn what goes through a Marines mind while waiting. May be it will help someone learn why needing to die is a way to relieve the time just waiting to die from the actions of others around you. Is this a fictional letter that will some day be part of a book or is this facts of what I am living through deep in the Bush as an American advisor on convoy doing my duty as a US Marine. My back is killing me with pain riding on this wooden seat. I will end this letter now. Whom knows maybe this letter will be read by someone some day, maybe even thousands.

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper fi

Opinion of the People 10-17-08

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 659-6217

Is my opinion so outrageous that the truth is taboo? Has the responsibility of government and the ethics of the news diminished to the hands of a select few? Good or Bad is the characters of the elite public officials above that of we the average citizen? Where does one turn when it is the courts and government officials violating the Constitution and laws to harm the average no name citizen? Does the news have the right to cover up such destructive harm because they are private businesses? When the news was granted protection by the Constitution as a tool for citizens to expose wrongs in government did that private business take on a moral and legal responsibility to the people of the U.S. Is it proper ethics for the Boston Globe to (in writing) tell me to commit suicide before writing another letter to the editor and refuse to print my response?

I am a 100% service connected disabled U.S. Marine from the Vietnam error? Three of my four injuries are combat related. The VA stopped my medical care to stop my letters to the editor. The NH government put me in jail to stop my letters. The State police come to my home and inform me the NH governor Lynch would prefer my suicide before I write another letter. The person in charge of the VA in NH told me to commit suicide. The VA now gives me token medical care to build a record that my health is not an issue. Is my opinion so outrageous that government officials and judges can violate the constitution to stop me? Why have news if it is controlled by the elite for their domination of the people?

Judge Peter Fauver is a criminal. He allowed with his court rulings the Madbury NH selectmen to use government powers for their personal revenge of local residents that the selectmen did not like. I ran for NH state senate this past primary only to have the news censor my letters. The news wrote articles to boost my opponent’s campaign and one liners to defeat my campaign in the voters eyes. The editors are so pompous that they will not even print my letters that are critical of what they are doing. Judge Fauver knowingly with intent to harm violated or allowed the Madbury selectmen to violate the constitution 29 or more times for revenge on U.S. citizens for personal reasons.

For the third time my head was pounding so bad yesterday, then all of a sudden my nose burst with blood gushing out. I was in the mist of one of my mental trips back in time to the Vietnam Conflict. When reality came back there was a mess and I was sweaty and cold. I looked for ways to kill my self but could not leave before cleaning up the mess for my wife. When I was just about done the phone rang with someone asking for my help. I forget about my needed task and volunteered my time. I volunteer every day to help other, and have since 74 when I came back to the “world” U.S.

If the Government, editors and VA want me to die why do they tell the public something different. You have law enforcement harassing me and my family because I volunteered my time to help a Madbury NH family. I wish that I could understand. Why did I come back to a place that I do not belong? Why do I not end it? Am I really back in the U.S. or is this one of my dreams while waiting for the action to start deep in the “Bush”. The news may not like my opinion but is the truth wrong? Live in my world and see that reality does not exist or does it and I just do not understand?.

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi

Macky Loeb school of Journalism 10-16-08

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

Journalism is writing to inform others of an unbiased report of the facts. The basic ethical responsibility of a editor is to see that the opinion of the people is expressed to correct the wrongs in government. A retired Concord Monitor editor gets the “Quill and Ink award from the Union Leader newspaper’s yearly awards dinner. This is the problem. People in the media business awarding themselves distinguished writing awards for outstanding service and articles when the truth is We the People are being short changed by the editors lack of reporting. I write a letter to the editor every day. The Boston Globe told me to commit suicide before writing another letter to the editor. They put it in writing yet no editor will inform the public. The Boston Globe will not even print my response. My facts are all documented in court papers and government records yet not one editor has the “Balls” to print the unedited opinion of the people. I served our country as a U.S. Marine. Judge Peter Fauver is a criminal. Fauver allowed with his court rulings the Madbury NH selectmen to use government powers to seek and get revenge on local residents using government powers. Judge Fauver in open court abused his privilege of being an unbiased judge. Fauver violated the constitution in a criminal manner yet the news refuses to print the truth. The NH supreme court violated the constitution by covering up the case when presented to them. #2003-0477

I dropped out or high school at 17 to join the Marine Corps. I received four permanent life changing injuries during my tour. I am 100% disabled Veteran. Three are combat related during my 31 months overseas tour during the Vietnam Conflict. This Madbury family that I had never met asked me for help because of a letter that I wrote. The courts and lawyers drained this family of money and hope. I set my life aside because of the values that the Marine Corps instilled in me about my responsibilities to the United States of America. I believe the people’s rights must be placed above the courts and governments revenge on us. Journalism is reporting the truth no matter what public officials it may offend.

To stop me the NH government declared me a terrorist and took my freedom for 6 months before the bogus charges were dropped. The government stopped my medical care. The VA person in charge in NH told me to commit suicide. The crimes by trusted officials with the trusted power of the people is to outrageous to tell all.

Newspapers across the U.S. refuse to print the truth. These same so called journalist grant themselves outstanding awards each year. The news media is a private business and can print what they want. It is to bad that the ethical responsibility of the trust that “We The People” place in them they so freely violate. The editors should create “the biggest public sham award”

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi

Depression-Veteran 10-16-08

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

Sad, Gloomy! simple definition of Depression. I am not depressed. May-be confused, miss placed, lack of understanding and as I have said many times in a place that does not accept me or want me. I am in a world that I do not belong (U.S.). I have held it to my self all these years trying to adjust to living to survive. Don’t get me wrong. I have been the luckiest person in the world. I survived as a U.S. Marine to come back, go to college, meet many great people, volunteer to help many, meet a great woman (whom became my wife) have three great daughters and a nice home. I have always since about my second year back remembered his face. I have the constant question even serving in the Marine Corps is this real. People come up to me all the time and talk as if we know each other. Some even tell me they are family members. I have no idea. Some times I figure out whom they are and other times I bluff my way through. I some times do not even remember my daughters names. Most times I can do something that I have done hundreds of times before and not have the slightest idea until I start the job. I have no memory of doing it before. I obey the rules and laws of this society and do every thing that I can to leave it better for others. I am not sad or gloomy. I need to know whom I am and where I belong. Depression is suicidal which I am not. I do need to die or did I die over there and this is punishment for being a U.S. Marine.

People say when you ask for help that you just want pity. Society looks down on people that are different. How could I have lived through what my mind tells me that I did and others (in social comments) tell me it is impossible or in-humane . People every day tell me real Marine’s do not talk about over there. I have not for over thirty years. I have a constant reminder of what freedom is every day by seeing his face. I do not want your pity. I want you all to understand what the U.S. Military goes through for you. When we come back do we obey society’s rule and not talk about it? Was our actions justifiable? It is two totally different worlds. Once you have been there it is camouflage that you hope will allow society back here to let you in. This is some one with no memory of life back here before the Marine Corps giving a view of what I understand of this civilized world.

NH put me in jail as a terrorist and I accepted it as what is real. Judge Peter Fauver is a criminal. To stop me from exposing these wrongs NH elected officials violated the constitution to stop me. Do I need help as so many tell me. Help is not there. What is help any way? Civilized society’s way of covering up the bad we (U.S. Military) do, so society can believe they are free. The VA stopped my medical care to stop my letters to the editor. The editors do not publish the opinion of the people when it conflicts with (or exposes) reality. Is not using someone’s health as a weapon wrong?

Is reality that I never did un-tie my hands that night and escape. Did that gook stick the bayonet in me and my eternal torture is to see that child’s face. I am not depressed. I am a Veteran in a place that does not want me. Don’t give me your pity. Your pity is only so that this civilized society can feel good for what you think is real.

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi

Depression-Veteran 10-16-08

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

Sad, Gloomy! simple definition of Depression. I am not depressed. May-be confused, miss placed, lack of understanding and as I have said many times in a place that does not accept me or want me. I am in a world that I do not belong (U.S.). I have held it to my self all these years trying to adjust to living to survive. Don’t get me wrong. I have been the luckiest person in the world. I survived as a U.S. Marine to come back, go to college, meet many great people, volunteer to help many, meet a great woman (whom became my wife) have three great daughters and a nice home. I have always since about my second year back remembered his face. I have the constant question even serving in the Marine Corps is this real. People come up to me all the time and talk as if we know each other. Some even tell me they are family members. I have no idea. Some times I figure out whom they are and other times I bluff my way through. I some times do not even remember my daughters names. Most times I can do something that I have done hundreds of times before and not have the slightest idea until I start the job. I have no memory of doing it before. I obey the rules and laws of this society and do every thing that I can to leave it better for others. I am not sad or gloomy. I need to know whom I am and where I belong. Depression is suicidal which I am not. I do need to die or did I die over there and this is punishment for being a U.S. Marine.

People say when you ask for help that you just want pity. Society looks down on people that are different. How could I have lived through what my mind tells me that I did and others (in social comments) tell me it is impossible or in-humane . People every day tell me real Marine’s do not talk about over there. I have not for over thirty years. I have a constant reminder of what freedom is every day by seeing his face. I do not want your pity. I want you all to understand what the U.S. Military goes through for you. When we come back do we obey society’s rule and not talk about it? Was our actions justifiable? It is two totally different worlds. Once you have been there it is camouflage that you hope will allow society back here to let you in. This is some one with no memory of life back here before the Marine Corps giving a view of what I understand of this civilized world.

NH put me in jail as a terrorist and I accepted it as what is real. Judge Peter Fauver is a criminal. To stop me from exposing these wrongs NH elected officials violated the constitution to stop me. Do I need help as so many tell me. Help is not there. What is help any way? Civilized society’s way of covering up the bad we (U.S. Military) do, so society can believe they are free. The VA stopped my medical care to stop my letters to the editor. The editors do not publish the opinion of the people when it conflicts with (or exposes) reality. Is not using someone’s health as a weapon wrong?

Is reality that I never did un-tie my hands that night and escape. Did that gook stick the bayonet in me and my eternal torture is to see that child’s face. I am not depressed. I am a Veteran in a place that does not want me. Don’t give me your pity. Your pity is only so that this civilized society can feel good for what you think is real.

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi

Peter Has nothing to say 10-15-08

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

Most nights I wake up several times with the face of my first kill watching over me. Last night was different. I was awake most of the night thinking about what I did as a U.S. Marine trying to make sense out of why I am here. My actions at the time were what I believed to be normal life of every day citizens. All my life that I had any memory of, I was a U.S. Marine following orders and directions to fight for a country that was a blank in my mind. Right our of Boot Camp I received a traumatic brain injury which left me with no memory at all. Because of an Admin error when released from the military hospital I received orders back to active duty. I had the ability to learn things and fix what ever, with what ever was around me, once I new how the object worked. Other Marines just thought I was stupid because I had to ask about everything. What a 9/16 wrench was, how to write a letter, other things I would figure out my self. I had no social skills or knew how to enter-act with others. My most reoccurring memory over the 30 years plus since I came back from the conflict is that of waiting for the action to start. My squad and I would just sit on the side of the runway talking. I mostly listened because I had no life that I remembered back here to talk about. Other times my men would be scattered about just sitting waiting these times I would question my self. Will I ever get to see the U.S.? How great it would be to kiss a round eyed girl. Was I awake all night or am I still waiting and this is punishment for being a U.S. Marine? What is reality?

I learned, obeyed and believe we had laws that protected us all equally. While doing my 31 month tour overseas I was injured three more times on combat related missions. I volunteered for every thing in the MC, because I needed to learn. I rose to the rank of sergeant because of my ability and need to go where sent and do missions blindly believing everyone else did the same. I trusted what people told me because I knew no different. My most important dream was to see the U.S. just once before I died.

I came back and was spit on at the San Francisco airport and called a baby killer. I started volunteering as a civilian just to fit in and meet others, while learning the American civilian social skills. To this day I have not stopped volunteering. What I learned as a Marine is the foundation of why I believe in the U.S. This is why when a Madbury family called me because of a letter to the editor that I wrote I volunteered my time to help them. The NH supreme court which by law has to place the Constitutional rights of the individual about government control violated the law. Judge Peter Fauver knowingly with intent to harm individuals allowed the Madbury NH selectmen to use government powers for personal revenge against local residents that the selectmen did not like. The NH government got the VA to stop my medical care for combat related injuries because I will not stop volunteer helping this family. It is against the law for the NH courts and government to use the police and sheriff for retribution to stop my exposing the wrongs in government. The editors censor my opinion letters and interfered with my running for NH state senate. Elected officials tell me that they believe in what I am doing but refuse to help. I get hundreds of emails, phone calls and people on the street telling me they support and appreciate what I am doing but do nothing to help. The news media which informs the public refuses to acknowledge that I am alive unless it is to harm my character in the public eye. Did I really wake up at night or am I still in that benjo ditch.

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi

Help is not there 10-20-08

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

Society calls us cry babies if we ask for help. Society does not help those that ask anyway. Society persecutes those that dare be different even if the difference is a disability and caused defending this great nation. I am a 100% disabled Veteran. Three of my four disabilities are combat related from separate missions during the Vietnam Conflict. To this day I remember nothing prior to my entering the Marine Corps at 17 from a Traumatic Brain Injury right out of boot camp. I did 31 months overseas in and out of the conflict. I survived 8 convoys deep into the bush as American advisor with no one else that spoke English. I lived through two Vietnam offensives on the back lines moving complete airfields in record time. I kill others in hand to hand combat yet the nation I did it for stopped my medical care because I dare speak openly “The Truth”.

I learned while living in harmful, putrid conditions just how great the U.S. was. With no memory I had no idea what life was like out of the MC. Can you think what it is like to step foot in the U.S. with only the memory of killing and destroying. I to this day still have no memory of my family, friends or others before Boot Camp. I learned and obeyed the rules and laws of society. I kept out of trouble and volunteered every day because I want to make the U.S. better. U.S. Rep Shea-Porter violated the law when she used her federal powers to interfere with my medical condition. The VA stopped my medical care and this society applauds them. I speak openly because the consequences to future generations will be traumatic. I speak openly for respect to our children giving their lives for what you “society” is allowing NH to diminish. Editors across the U.S. are afraid to print what I say. Our (children) U.S. military are giving their lives for nothing.

Judge Peter Fauver criminally violated the Constitution to intentionally harm U.S. citizens knowingly. Judge Fauver allowed the Madbury NH selectmen to use government powers to seek and get revenge on local resident that the selectmen did not like. Because I volunteered my time to help one family expose these crimes against the entire U.S. NH has seen fit to violate to law and humanity to stop my voice. The editors ignore the truth and write articles to cover up what the U.S. is doing to a 100% disabled Veteran.

Society passes all these laws and rules but they are not administered equally to all citizens. The Law protects only those that society wants to. The local sheriff harasses me every time I call Judge Fauver a criminal. It is against the law for law enforcement to harass me to cover up Fauver’s criminal acts. It is called retribution. The NH Supreme Court covered up Fauver’s crimes when they were presented to them. Public record.

People (every day citizens) are asking for help. Society refuses to help until it is to late. Then society will say “why did we not see it”. The editors will censor this letter as they did all my letters even when I ran for NH state senate this past primary. I wanted to die so much when I was over there but seeing the U.S. just ones was more powerful to me. I came back to a land that I do not belong. Society back here in the “world” U.S. is just the same as over there. Society back here is just camouflaged so that you believe freedom exists. Editors censoring the opinion of the people is the perfect example of dictatorship. I have asked society for help, it is to late for me. Think of your children. Look at the Lee Circle Grocery and see what NH is doing to them. Freedom exists only for those with connections.

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper fi

Kill or be killed 10-19-08

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

These are not nice words, but the only way to get a response from any news or government official is to use these type statements. Do we live in a civilized society where the people in charge can rule all others unless (the Others) join this group of Hippocrates. Has the U. S. gone full circle where now equal justice is only for those that can afford it or the editors find you guilty by manipulating public perception. Do lawyers and government officials know the meaning of justice or does money equal justice. Do the editors now help the Democratic or Republican parties decide whom the voters get to freely elect. Has the U.S. gone full circle to where the voters get to freely vote on only those candidates that are selected for them. These words are not nice, neither is censorship, fixed election, manipulated news, or law enforcers that only work for the Hippocrates. Is justice free and equal for all?

I am a 100% disabled service connected Veteran. I ran for NH state senate in this past primary. The editors wrote articles clearly to discourage the voters from my choice. The other candidate Amanda Merrill is a great person. She will do a great job representing the people of her district. I like Amanda and I will vote for her. My point is that the editors are controlling the opinion and free choice of the people. I have violated no laws. I have volunteered every single day since I came back from the Vietnam conflict in 74 to help others. Even after NH declared me a terrorist and took my freedom I still volunteer to help others. The editors were happy to point a finger at me and harm my character in the public eye to sell more papers. The editors never printed the truth when NH dropped the bogus charges. For this election the editors wrote great articles about Amanda and one liners to defeat any chance I had to be elected. I write opinion letters every day expressing my views. Not one letter is printed because the editors are so biased that they would rather protect the Hippocrates than inform the public of the truth.

People will look at this letter and tell you what a hate full person I am. That is not true. I volunteer to help young and old people. Some I know and do not know. I volunteer in schools and communities across the State of NH. I am still friends with the local police that chained and shackled me because U.S. Rep Shea-Porter filed a false report. I will still vote for Carol because she is the better of the two evils running. I do what is best for our country (U.S.). The Veterans administration stopped my medical care for combat related injuries yet I am not mad. It has been restored but it is now inadequate and sub-standard. These Hippocrates are violating the law to intentionally harm me in their efforts to control the public. Judge Fauver is a criminal that the NH supreme court decided to cover up his crimes to protect these Hippocrates. Where does one go when the editors refuse to print the opinion of the public. The elected Hippocrates refuse to represent people that can not help their profit and dominate control grow, and the courts are so corrupt that they protect their own first. The perfect example of the corrupt, biased editors, courts and government officials is that this letter will not appear in one newspaper across the entire U.S. I am a disabled veteran that cares about YOU.

This is not a nice letter but it is the opinion of a disabled veteran that

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi

Suicide Ask Why? Child or Veteran 10-18-08

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

This civilized society just does not want to understand. A woman sues the Raymond School for her sons suicide. A judge dismisses the case. The school stereotyped the child a trouble maker and pressured the boy. No one wanted to recognize the systems of suicide. The only way to make a situation public is to sue. The editors see little profit in telling news of the “little people” average citizen. A judge looking out for the public officials dismisses the case leaving justice discriminatory. The editors now see a profit so they publish the facts late. Editors censor and edit the people’s opinion.

I am a 100% disabled Veteran wanting to die every day since I came back in 74 from the Vietnam Conflict. I write a letter every day describing my turmoil with the criminal acts the Veteran’s admin and NH government is doing to Veterans. The pressure “(not every veteran) returning veteran’s unknowingly get from society by the innocent comment or attitude on what society believes the U.S. Military do. We come back some disabled and others just slide back into society. Society forgets or can not realize that the memories of what we did slowly return. Even the Veteran is unaware these demons are changing what we see and do. The brutal defense of survival that we learned by living in dirty, sub-human conditions where life comes and goes with the movement of a finger or the mind numbing explosions around you. That innocent child that left years earlier no longer exists. Society recognizes the image of a Veteran but can not understand the symptoms of why we need to die. My VA file is Red Flagged, what does that tell you.

Last night at the dinner table I learned that my family’s friend’s ex-husband killed himself a few months ago. The subject came up because my wife was talking to our kids about my friends son’s (with this man) mental break down since the suicide. Suicide disrupts a lot of people’s lives yet society refuses to recognize the signs or understand the persons need to die. I can see the hurt my death will cause my family and this is one of many reasons that I have not died so far. The editors refuse to print the opinion of the little people until it will produce a profit. How do we the people that make the U.S. what it is “understand”? How do we tell the courts make justice for us not just them? How do we elect people that will work for the people versus their own legacy?

I lost my complete memory (it never came back to this day) from an accident just out of boot camp. I lived the next 31 months in and out of combat over seas during the Vietnam conflict with this head injury. I came back with three more life changing disabilities from separate combat related missions. I went to the VA last week because of serious head and body pain. My VA medical was stopped for political reasons and restarted (sub-standard) so that the record can document that I receive medical care. At this appointment I was referred to a civilian ears, nose and throat doctor. There is nothing wrong with my ears, nose or throat. Congress woman Carol Shea-Porter interfered with my VA medical to help NH cover up Judge Fauver’s criminal acts of intentionally harming U.S. individuals. The NH Supreme Court covered up Fauver’s crimes. The Madbury NH selectmen used the courts to discriminate against local citizens for personal revenge and Fauver used the courts to protect these criminals acts. The newspapers refuse to print the opinion of the little people so where does a 100% disabled Veteran go? Civilized society does not want to recognize or understand Veterans came home different than when we left. I came home to a place that I do not belong. I have volunteered every day as a way to thank U.S. Military Veterans that never did come home. I learned how to be what I thought was a good U.S. citizen. I do not violate the law. I help others (whether I know them or not) every day. We kill our selves (over there and when we come back) because we realize we do not belong. I should never have come home.

Do you see that I am telling you from my heart why? Society does not want to understand. I know that the VA, Police and a bunch of other court and government personal will harass me because of this letter that will never be published. The act of death can not be stopped. You can try to understand why and prevent it in others. Society can never grasp the magnitude of what we did. Can you understand what it is to kill for a country that questions your actions. Imagine standing in front of a F-14 doing 600knots stopping with in 15 feet of you. May be 40 or 50 times a day and surviving. Imagine having hung ordinance break free, bounce down the runway and hit you. You get up and stand in front of the next returning aircraft. How about the A-6 breaks the deck pennant which snaps your point man in half yet you have to assign another in seconds to complete the mission. Understand what it is like to be the only American on a convoy with foreigners and no one speak your language. Imagine life in the Bush at a friendly village spending the night trying not to close your eyes so you can witness your death. Can you imagine a 17 year old U.S. Marine living 31 months like this and returning to a country that he does not remember because of the Traumatic brain injury.

The citizens that never served do not want to understand. Lock us up or leave us on the street home less and hungry. Refuse us medical or take it away. Society has no use for the Veteran that returns, any more. The U.S. military personal taking our own life is not suicide it is a way we try to keep you from seeing what we have become. A child dies, while the civilized society rationalized the news until it is their own child. What has the United States become?

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi

U.S. Shame 10-17-08

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

Veterans, email, call and send letters to me about what they are going through since they came back from the Vietnam Conflict, Iraq and Afghanistan. The common words are emptiness, the feeling that they do not belong here, the survival instincts that a civilized society can not grasp the importance of, why did I not have the decency to die over there? This is our Veterans talking yet no one hears them. I have received well over 100 calls from WWII veterans that the demons of our U.S. military have never left. These demons are the memories of the acts we committed for the continued existence of the U.S. These are the men and women that lived in disgraceful conditions and survived horrifying situations. There is no one to talk to. The VA is made up of people that have never been there and if you do speak about it, people call you a wiener. The people sending me the questionable emails are the ones that never served that do not try to understand the confused mind of a Veteran. Our politicians, (most never served) are more worried about their pet projects than those that served. My volunteer help to this Madbury family has allowed me to understand the Shame full U.S. policy toward veterans. Veterans are a great tool for politicians to use during election time but are soon forgotten by those elected. The editor’s refuse to print my opinion does that not illustrate the point that this civilized society (U.S.) just does not want to understand the Veteran.

I remember walking down the street in Dover NH last summer and seeing a boy crying while mowing the lawn. My memory is limited because of one of my disabilities from my time in the Marine Corps. I remember talking with the boy for some time about his farther serving in our military. My last memory is leaving with never giving our names to each other but the boy’s words of thanks. He thank me for telling him of what it was like when I returned. How people treated me great but had no idea the memories that crept up over time. How most that come back are not the ones that left. We are still the same loving person just we have seen a side of live that on one should ever witness.

The Veterans administration stopped my medical care. I have four permanent life changing disabilities from my time in the Marine Corps. The news and our elected officials boycott me. I every day tell the world about how Judge Fauver criminally violated the Constitution to help the Madbury NH selectmen get revenge on local residents that the selectmen want out of Madbury NH. I do not worry about the consequences of the retribution from our government officials. I am concerned about the children we send of to become veterans “that what we did is not in vain”. I have the law and truth on my side. I continue to write these letters because more and more people across the U.S. are reading them. Most support my efforts to make the U.S. better for all. Some day the editors will wake up and smell the roses, understanding freedom is equal justice for all. The editors must relearn that the opinion of the people is what makes the U.S. a free country. I do not belong back here. Every day I question is this real. I have a strong urge to die each day. How can I die if I am dead over there and this is my punishment for being a U.S. Marine and what we do? I try to talk or answer most of the Veterans. I have no advice just a word that some one does care. These are Veterans from across the entire United States of America talking to me. Why does the U.S. not listen?

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi

Writing from the heart 10-16-08

Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217

I write my letters from my heart because of the love I have for our country, The United States Of America. I do not think of the retribution our government leaders and editors will seek on me for writing the truth. I do not understand but can accept why the many people reading my letters do nothing, not even question? People tell me they are tired of my letters because they repeat the same thing over and over. My letters go out to thousands of people. These letters are published on the internet daily. I send them to the Veteran’s Administration and hospital. Our government stopped my medical care for combat related injuries to get retribution. Judge Fauver is a criminal getting away with intentionally harming U.S. citizens. Judge Fauver allowed the Madbury NH selectmen (for personal reasons) to use government powers for retribution against local residents that the selectmen did not like. The NH supreme court covered up Fauver’s crimes when presented to them in detail.

The NH government and editors interfered with a free election openly this past primary. I ran for NH state senate which would have given me an avenue to inform U.S. residents what NH and the editors are doing to a 100% service connected disabled veteran that volunteers every day to help others. The editors wrote great articles about the other candidates and destructive one liners to get the voters to dislike me. The editors refuse to print my opinion letters but print other candidates letters. My letters are public documents sent to the courts and government every day. There is no liability because the truth will stand on it’s own. I thought the opinion of the people meant something?

I will volunteer today and suffer in serious pain. But we have to ask is this the pain of a Marine attempting to survive to complete a mission. Has what I learned from other Marines during my tour transformed into the hel-l around me? Did I really come home or is this what my mind has developed as to what living in the U.S. is? I have dreamed every day of some day coming home to see the U.S. for the first time in my own mind. Is the hel-l that I live in every day of my existence on foreign soil as a U.S. Marine that living in the U.S. is? My mind has developed a conflict between how our government places the people first and the fighting around me here. Is my volunteering a catalyst to surviving living in hell, until some day I see the U.S. I learned to write letters as a U.S. Marine because I had nothing else. I have no memory from an accident. I get hurt and injured all the time but set the pain aside because that is what a Marine does. May be this is death and my punishment for being a U.S. Marine is to eternally dream of fighting in one way or another for the United States of America. Is my death to write letters to the U.S. and have no one read them. Did I die so my opinion can be stopped.

Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi